Actually, I know why. Perfectionism! I get discouraged when I think of how much weight I haven't lost. And every time I think about picking up the house, my perfectionist evil twin comes out and tells me, "It's going to take you all day!"
I know this isn't true. I know that I could easily pick up the whole house in less than an hour. I know that losing weight is going to take a long time if I want to do it the healthy way. I also know I have made some serious strides in bettering myself and my situation.
It's just that I get in these moods. I don't feel like eating (well, I don't feel like eating healthy food). I don't feel like cooking. I don't feel like exercising. I don't feel like cleaning. I don't feel like doing anything but sitting around the house playing Mario Kart Wii. Ugh! It disgusts me.
Anyway, after sleeping in or rather, after lying in bed because I didn't feel like swishing and swiping (see my first post) or exercising, I forced myself to get out of bed and just take 15 minutes to pick up some clutter. I should have done this the night before, but didn't feel like it (I decided to kick but on Mario Kart instead).
This got me thinking about why I feel this way. I believe I have mentioned previously that I have been charting the psycho things my hormones do. Well it turns out that about this time last month my weight started going up and I started feeling tired. Well, I got on the scale and...dun dun dun... my weight went up to 175! I can't believe this. I seriously have a one week window of opportunity to get a real weigh in. So maybe I'll only weigh in once a month. *shakes head* Ridiculous!
I don't really feel all that tired. I actually have a little more energy than usual. So I am guessing this overwhelming/defeated feeling is just due to all the stuff piling up on my plate.
Okay off this subject. I would like to share with everyone my "Rewards System."
I gave myself this reward system last month or at the end of March.
*165: Real Simple Magazine subscription
*160 (or size 10): New pare of walking sandals for Disneyland
*155: New sun dress
*150 (or size 8): $25 iTunes gift card
*140 (or size 6): $25 extra spending money
*130 (or size 4): New wardrobe!
So, after trying on and fitting into the size 10 dress, I should be rewarding myself with the magazine subscription and the new sandals. But I am feeling really reluctant to. I have lost 5 pounds, from the start of this endeavour, but I feel like this isn't enough.
I know, realistically, that as I do more strength training and such, I am going to replace some of my fat with muscle. And of course, muscle weighs more. When I started my rewards system, I realized that I may not ever get down to 130 pounds, but I might get down to a size 4. But for some reason, I can't get past the weight on the scale. I am being such a perfectionist, that I can't even congratulate myself on fitting into a size 10 again.
What do you think? Should I reward myself?
P.S. This is the bridesmaid dress I am wearing for my mom's wedding. We'll be putting a pink sash around the waist.
Oh and check out www.hormonology.info for more information on the crazy things your hormones do and how to use it to your advantage.