Sunday, July 5, 2009

Putting old habits to rest: Day 3 of New Habit Challenge

Yesterday's Habits. Wake up at 5:45: check. Dishes: check. Exercise: check. I completed all of my new habits yesterday, but just barely. I had to keep chanting to myself: be your best today!

Calories In/Calories Out:

Calories Consumed: I have no idea!

I was too scared to calculate my calories. I didn't eat a lot, but what I ate wasn't good. I went ahead and had one a huge July 4th Burger, with baked chips and beans. I did skip dessert. After that though, I felt this incredible nagging voice inside my head. I tried to shut it up as much as possible.

Calories Burned: I forgot to write it down in my journal, but I burned 135 calories after 30 minutes doing free step on Wii Fit.

Definitely too many calories in, and not enough out. :(

Subduing the obnoxious voice of perfection:

Upon stepping on to the Wii Fit board, just out of sheer habit, I weighed myself. I should have known better. Of course, being late in the evening, and having just drank a very large glass of water, the stupid board told me I was 4.9 pounds heavier than the last time I weighed in. The last time I got on the evil board just happened to be right after I finished my 5 day detox.

The board just ruined me. I felt so insignificant, and I wondered how I could possibly write on my blog that I have given up one of my habits after just three days: exercising daily.

Luckily as I free stepped, I watched Joe vs. the Volcano. It's funny how a cheesy 80s movie can sometimes speak to you. After Joe figured out that he was going to die, he decided to live. *shakes head* I realized I need to live every day -- one day at a time. I don't think I have ever understood what that truly means.

Another boost of confidence just so happened because, even after my husband saw my weight on the Wii (even though I told him not to look, which made me mad), I realized that he still loves me -- still desires me.

My goal in life, and the reason I started this blog, is not just to lose weight and look hot. Even though I lose focus quite often. My goal is to be healthy -- body, mind and soul -- and to quiet to world's voice of perfection that so often penetrates my thoughts and emotions. I am who I am.

Today, I am going to take care of myself, because I need to. And not because our eating disordered culture tells me I need to do so.


P.S. I got on the scale this morning and I am back down to normal. ;)

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