Two things

Two things have been polluting my mind since last night. Both causing me sleep deprivation and ADD at work:

Drapes and the differentiating factors between now and then.

Let me explain...

The husband and I are getting ready for the big move this weekend. We still need curtains. I originally wanted some wooden roman shades, but seeing as my windows are not standard sizes, that won't be happening any time soon. Custom is just too pricey.

I have one large window behind my "bay window" and another that looks out to the front of the house. I also have a small window on my entry-way door and two small square windows that are located on either side of the fireplace.

So far I think I have narrowed it down to navy blue drapes on the two large windows and some sort of valance on the door and the small square windows. I want to do a different color on the small windows and I would like to incorporate red. I thought plaid, but I am not ready to commit to plaid.

Deciding on window treatments is almost as stressful as picking out wall colors.

On to differentiating factors...

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what is different about the last times I lost weight and now trying to lose weight.

The first time I lost a substantial amount of weight was the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I lost 35 pounds in a month and a half. Of course I began gaining weight my freshman year of college.

More recently, when I was up in pounds, I lost 10 pounds. Again, I lost the weight during the summer between my junior and senior year of college.

Now, I am back up. Way up. I can't figure out what is so different. I want to lose weight. I know what needs to be done to lose weight, but I just can't seem to muster up enough will power to do it.

Here are the Circumstances for high school:

• Dating, for pretty much the first time
• A little more popular (as I was dating a football player and quit band)
• Guys began noticing me
• Determined to look good for senior pictures
• Rededicated my life to Christ
• Excited to be graduating
• Planned on a senior trip

My diet regimen for high school:

• Ate only fruits and veggies for nearly 2 months
• Walked every day for 40 minutes

Circumstances for college:

• Excited to be graduating
• Proud of myself for finishing
• Really in to fashion and "What not to Wear"
• Attending a Christian college
• Took up leading worship at youth group
• Was not working

Diet regimen for college:

• Took up running (up to 3 miles a day)
• Ate small controlled portions

I don't really remember much about that summer. College was so stressful and I have a really large mental block on most of the experience.

Circumstances now:

• Working 40+ hours a week
• Remodeling a home
• Recovering emotionally from a stressful life events
• Spiritually and (nearly) physically disconnected from church

Diet now:

• Eat what I want and how much I want
• Pretty much sedentary now

Yuck! I feel so disgusting. I think I see a small pattern. Both times I was able to lose weight, I had some sort of pride in myself and in my appearance. I had a goal that I was excited about and could almost feel the end results. I was also connected with God.

Writing this blog has actually been really eye opening. Wow, the pattern isn't small at all. It's huge! Now what the heck do I do with the info?

God Bless,

--Shawnee